When It Works...

...it really works.

This is how we roll in Vanuatu: if we are going to screw something up or 'drop the ball', as it were, the ramifications will be of epic, beyond-the-Richter-scale proportions.

But if we do something right, we will shock you with the charm and grace of a thousand ballerinas dancing in perfect unison.

Just to keep you on your toes.

I would like to share two tales of the recent superhuman feats achieved by my two surrogate families: the good people of Tongoa and those of Peace Corps Vanuatu.

The First.

Now, this time it WAS my fault. I 100% forgot the majority of supporting documents for our Aid Post grant application in my house on the island. In my defense, I was under an enormous amount of stress at the time, not least because I suddenly got word that my ship was coming to rescue me EIGHT HOURS EARLIER than scheduled, which meant I had to RUN approximately one and a half hours with all my stuff to the wharf. That was over a month ago, and I still have scars from the blisters from my Chacos.

Just as I was about to jump on the ship, I remembered the missing paperwork and in a flash of panic tinged with ingenuity, tossed my housekeys to my uncle with the following instructions,

"I forgot something really important! You need to get these keys to Mama Alice and I will take care of the rest, but if for some reason I can't get a hold of her someone needs to find my PURPLE FOLDER, okay? PURPLE...FOLDER!"

He nods vigorously, mentally repeating (I imagine) 'purple folder' to himself several times, as he and several strangers do the old heave-ho to get our little boat off the shore and to the waiting ship. He waves goodbye, grinning from the shore...and I wave back weakly, powerless.

I make about a million phone calls upon my arrival in Vila all the way until the departure lounge for my flight to New Zealand, 95% of which result in voicemails left on mobile phones that I know get charged once a week or less.

When I return two weeks later, I discover the following small miracles have ACTUALLY occurred:

1. My uncle passes my housekeys to my Mama Alice.
2. Her sister passes on my frantic, detailed message (thank God for my near-photographic memory).
3. My mom retrieves the Purple Folder from my house and passes it to my dad.
4. My dad solemnly takes the Purple Folder across the island and delivers it to Travis (fellow Peace Corps Volunteer).
5. Sarah, another Peace Corps volunteer from nearby Tongariki happens to show up on Tongoa via boat en route to Port Vila.
6. Travis gives Sarah the precious Purple Folder, and she takes it on the plane with her to Vila.
7. Sarah places the Purple Folder in my mailbox in Vila upon her arrival.

FOR REAL!

The story should have, or at least COULD have ended there, but then, it couldn't have taken place in Vanuatu, after all.

Within a few hours of my return to Vila, after several phone calls I am informed of the miraculous sequence of events outlined above. I check the urge to rejoice (see previous blog entry) which is a good thing because, alas, my mailbox is empty! Which can only mean one thing...

IT HAS BEEN MAILED BACK TO ME ON TONGOA.

(Some of you may remember this isn't the first time I have been in a situation like this. In September, both my mobile phone and my plane ticket to Fiji were accidentally mailed to me on Tongoa - also my fault then).

I call Bridget's phone repeatedly until she picks up and opens all the mail she has picked up for me on the island. The purple folder isn't there.

WHICH MEANS IT IS STILL SOMEWHERE IN PORT VILA.

By 9:15 a.m. the next morning, I had retrieved the Purple Folder from the outgoing mailbag at the post office in Port Vila, which was on its way out to the airport. Is it illegal to break into your own mail? I know it is in North America, and we're pretty sure it is here, too but...damn it, do you want the poor children of Tongoa to have a roof over their head when they seek penicillin from the Aid Post? Do you want them to have a clean water source they can bathe in when they are gripped with malarial fever? How many mothers have to give birth in their bush kitchens before you GIVE ME MY OWN MAIL BACK, Sir?

Thank you very much. You have yourself a lovely day.

Please stay tuned for details on The Second, as this operation is currently in progress and I dare not celebrate until its success is confirmed.